A very interesting and compelling cover letter that captures my attention! I kind of like it, but I am not so sure if it is appropriate?
Your introduction is very strong and clearly addressed. It shows your confidence.
The 2nd paragraph - here I am not sure if the analogy is too elaborate for a cover letter, even though I find it interesting.
Same with the 3rd paragraph - if it is too wordy, maybe you can shorten it by saying "my previous stint at the department of ... has taught me ..."
Overall, the way you write does have a distinctive style of your own (I am imagine you speaking the exact same way you write!) and sure is captivating. However, I am not sure if it is OK for a cover letter.
I would like to hear from others what their comments are!
Hey Dave, i love the use of power words, which really makes your cover letter very impactful.
I really like the third paragraph because it really shows that you see the value and importance of the program. You may want to avoid using "stint" because it kind of downplays the NEA attachment.
Just a humble suggestion, you might want to switch the 2nd and 3rd paragraphs around. The current 2nd paragraph seems to be a kind of gambit on weather the person reading it can relate in the same way or see things from your perspective? The thing is, what happens if they don't, and stop reading it, they'll miss all the good stuff at the back. And i can honestly tell you, you have some really good stuff at the back. Great job!
You application letter is very interesting and I like it very much.
I am not sure whether the second paragraph is appropriated for an application letter. I guess you want to show your understanding and interest in the job. The paragraph may be so long that can overshadow the rest part which shows your ability and experience.
I bummed into your letter and I found it quite interesting. Frankly, I've never seen such a cover letter in my life xD!
But usually from what I know from my colleagues where I work, they say that good cover letters are written very beautifully, as in the writer use very refreshingly original verbs and nouns to express his ideas, and other people cannot do that so the writer is the only one that stands out. It is also written to the point and doesn't beat around the bush.
Actually, I think that your cover letter fulfills all of the above requirements lah haha. It was a happy read for me, totally different from all your other friends that I read? Yup xD!
Hello Dave,
ReplyDeleteA very interesting and compelling cover letter that captures my attention! I kind of like it, but I am not so sure if it is appropriate?
Your introduction is very strong and clearly addressed. It shows your confidence.
The 2nd paragraph - here I am not sure if the analogy is too elaborate for a cover letter, even though I find it interesting.
Same with the 3rd paragraph - if it is too wordy, maybe you can shorten it by saying "my previous stint at the department of ... has taught me ..."
Overall, the way you write does have a distinctive style of your own (I am imagine you speaking the exact same way you write!) and sure is captivating. However, I am not sure if it is OK for a cover letter.
I would like to hear from others what their comments are!
Hey Dave, i love the use of power words, which really makes your cover letter very impactful.
ReplyDeleteI really like the third paragraph because it really shows that you see the value and importance of the program. You may want to avoid using "stint" because it kind of downplays the NEA attachment.
Just a humble suggestion, you might want to switch the 2nd and 3rd paragraphs around. The current 2nd paragraph seems to be a kind of gambit on weather the person reading it can relate in the same way or see things from your perspective? The thing is, what happens if they don't, and stop reading it, they'll miss all the good stuff at the back. And i can honestly tell you, you have some really good stuff at the back. Great job!
Hi Dave,
ReplyDeleteYou application letter is very interesting and I like it very much.
I am not sure whether the second paragraph is appropriated for an application letter. I guess you want to show your understanding and interest in the job. The paragraph may be so long that can overshadow the rest part which shows your ability and experience.
Hi there,
ReplyDeleteI bummed into your letter and I found it quite interesting. Frankly, I've never seen such a cover letter in my life xD!
But usually from what I know from my colleagues where I work, they say that good cover letters are written very beautifully, as in the writer use very refreshingly original verbs and nouns to express his ideas, and other people cannot do that so the writer is the only one that stands out. It is also written to the point and doesn't beat around the bush.
Actually, I think that your cover letter fulfills all of the above requirements lah haha. It was a happy read for me, totally different from all your other friends that I read? Yup xD!