Speaking publicly has not been one of my forte. This course has challenged me, on numerous occasions, to rise up and utter words – words which I cannot retract and edit the way, say, I can edit this piece or that proposal.
Which was why, at times, I felt unnecessarily weighed down by negative thoughts with every speaking bout. At first, it was okay, standing up and giving a mini speech to a small group of 3 proved less daunting than I had imagined. In fact, I was surprised and deeply encouraged by the unsolicited and kind remarks from one of you!
But something happened in week 6.
Briefly, it involved the letters SEP and NO. I was dumbstruck, and a little shaken. I did not want to proceed. I did not want to write. I certainly did not want to sit for another interview (however mock).
Yet I am thankful.
That I plodded on, went for classes, querying the system and occasionally finding answers.
And I remain so.
It has been quite a journey. And I don’t want to minimise the low points, the moments of doubt. They have been instructive.
 |
| After OP |
Neither will I dwell on it.
There were good moments. Moments of luminosity and grace. Some of the few things I was moved by:
1) The generosity of my team-mates
2) The kindness of strangers
3) The frankness of the rest.
I’ll leave with this quote from here:
What if our awkwardness, and our uniqueness points to the potential of the person we are meant to become? In order to learn to fly, you need to be patient, and ready to experience many failures; we need an environment where we can fail often, but you also need opportunities to peer into the wonders and mysteries of the vista of the world to come.
So thank you Brad for this environment to learn. And for my course-mates who gave me glimpses into the (real) world to come.
Dave,
ReplyDeleteI feel that you have a uniquely calm and collected persona. I for one, cannot pick up even a hint of nerves whenever you are up in front presenting. You also have an exceptional amount of creativity that i'm sure me and your OP team can attest to.(you'll do really well in newmedia(NM) modules if you ever decide to take them as UEM)
Hope that our interaction has been one of encouragement, more than discouragement, as it was a real pleasure doing the peer teaching with you and also being a classmate.
All the best!
Thanks, Dave, for this thoughtful final reflection. I can understand the frustration that you express here as it seems you are refering to a rejection (excuse me for being dense. In any case, continue on you did, and with much dignity. You demonstrated lots of strengths in the mansy assignments, and I know you're a man of faith. So let me advise you not to be shaken. It will all work out, and you'll be a better man for it.
ReplyDeleteAll the best in your future!
"And the end of all our exploring
ReplyDeleteWill be to arrive where we started
And know the place for the first time."
- T.S Eliot
Thank you Eric and Brad.
This class truly sharpened me in more ways than one, and for that I am grateful - even if the process of (mostly) self-discovery caused me to wince a little.
I'm sure I will look back at this years later and smile at the youthful intensity of my feelings and folly. I appreciate that we are all growing, learning and becoming more sure-footed with every passing day.
Till then,
God bless and my deepest regards.
Think I'll leave my email here if anyone reading would like to contact me:
ReplyDeletepuddleglum.ming+turningpageblog@gmail
"The end of a matter is better than its beginning"
- Ecc 7:8